Yes, you heard me. Don't be that guy. You know, the guy who asks the girl out for drinks under the guise that their "friends" but really hopes that after a bottle of wine she will come to her senses and realize that her world traveling, slightly entitled artist boyfriend will never give her what she really wants - commitment. Yes, indeed.
I had the pleasure or pain, depending on how you look at it, of watching this v. scene unfold while having a night cap with my fabulous friend Chandlee at Cavatappo, a cozy little wine bar around the corner from my Upper East Side apartment. At first I thought the people sitting next to us, sharing a bottle of wine, were on a date. He was a handsome, older gentleman and she was descent looking. I was mistaken. Then carnage. From the moment we sat down this girl prattled on about her boyfriend and how she was going to give him an ultimatum, she didnt know where there relationship was going but how he was misunderstood and blah, blah, blah be de blah.. Oh this poor man! Chandlee and I stopped talking and discreetly watched his body language as he asked all the appropriate questions, paying just enough attention but probably tuning her out. The worst part was that when we had paid our check and she had finally come up for air, he actually asked her if she wanted to get another bottle! I mean really, guy? You weren't bad looking....were you going for the "at least let me get her drunk so I can try and take advantage" move? Newsflash - that rarely works...
The moral of this story is twofold: for the guys- don't bother pretending to be a friend to get some play because women KNOW and they will make you suffer even more, just like that poor guy last night. For women - ultimatums only work if you are someone's lover so unless you are a mistress don't do it. Men are determined, practical individuals, if they want to commit they will. If they want to marry you they will ask. Period. If not well then, to steal the lines off that cheesy movie with the hot Bradley Cooper, "he's just not that into you."
Here is to a healthy, fashionable and prosperous 2011!