Lately, I have had several conversations about the state of affairs, literally. Whether it's been with my single female friends or with guys under the age of 28.
The central theme is whether or not people are comfortable being monogamous. Open relationships seem to be v. de rigeur at the moment with some people chasing the idea that being with different people allows them to experiment and be free. This is fine, if you are going to run your private life like a business - slotting in different dates when the schedules fit, assigning dates almost like tasks because essentially likes and interests will vary. Ultimately, what this becomes is a lesson in time management. If you can keep it light and fun then be as open and free as your heart desires. However, I do believe that there is an element of avoidance that stems from it all. The most common time to get involved in an open relationship seems to be after a painful breakup or when you are emotionally feeling insecure. Personally, I recently ended an "open relationship" because ultimately, we were getting close to one another but it wasn't real.
That draws me to my conclusion that monogamy is the HOTTEST look right now. Nobody is labeling it "serious". You are not moving in together or getting married. It is simply time spent exploring one person. I am not saying settle for the wrong girl or guy for monogamy's sake but if you can find someone who understands you, makes you laugh, is just fun to hang out with AND rocks your world, then why would you want to be with anyone else? Monogamy leaves a negative but unfair connotation of being staid, stuffy and vanilla. Well, coming from a woman who has been married, divorced and has been single on and off for the past 5 years I will tell you that there is nothing better than being spicy and adventurous with the same person who knows you and your likes/dislikes then having to train people and give directions as if I am a traffic cop and hope they remember next time.
Seriously. Try it on.
